


The Other Side of Paradise

by Le_Personne_Inexistant



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Implied Onesided Love, M/M, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-14 12:48:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16492904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Le_Personne_Inexistant/pseuds/Le_Personne_Inexistant
Summary: Just a small song-fic based on the Glass Animals song of the same name because I thought the Chorus and Bridge screamed Tezca and Justin.





	The Other Side of Paradise

_ Bye-bye baby blue _

 

Tezca knew he would never be able to see those eyes so many people told him were cerulean.

 

_ I wish you could see the wicked truth _

 

If only he had known. If only  _ he _ had known. If only  _ he _ was there, standing by his side. If only they could stare into the past and realize their mistakes.

 

_ Caught up in a rush it’s killing you _

 

Tezca thought about the blur that was the past. The thoughts in his head raced, even without a physical body all he could feel was pain, his mind was at that fateful day and he could feel the cold blade against his neck.

 

_ Screaming at the sun you blow into _

 

It _burned_ _him._ He remembered _his_ cry of pain and outrage. It made him feel sick.

 

_ Curled up in a grip when we were us _

 

Tezca had once thought they were something. That there was such a thing as “them”. He knows better now.

 

_ Fingers in a fist like you might run _

 

_ He _ had ran from them. Abandoned them, abandoned  _ his _ faith. _He’s_ gone now.

 

_ I settle for a ghost I never knew _

 

His memory of  _ him _ was far more pleasant than reality. It was fake, it never really was _him_ , but wasn’t it okay if it was just in his head?

 

_ Super-paradise I held on to _

 

Clinging to the barest threads of the concept of “them”, Tezca refused to let go.

 

_ But I settle for a ghost _

 

Anything was better than what was the reality.

 

_ I know you don't but I _ __   
_ I know you don't but I still try _ __   
  


He knew  _ he _ would never be able to come, but he can’t stop himself from dreaming about it, praying for it.

 

_ My thunder shook him down _ _   
_ _ My thunder came and shook him down _

 

In a flashes of thunder and lightning  _ he _ was gone in an instance and Tezca’s life truly came apart.

__   
_ That girl is gone but I _ __   
_ That girl is gone but I still try _ __   
  


It’s hard to forgive Marie. Even still, it’s so much easier than forgiving himself.

 

_ I think it's over now _ __   
_ The bullet hit but maybe not _ __   
  


The realization that  _ he’d _ never come back tore through his brain, yet a part of his heart still held onto faith. He was caught between acceptance and denial and he didn’t know which part was killing him.

 

_ I feel so fucking numb _ __   
  


All emotions left him with no feeling. Tezca couldn’t even cry, he was so goddamn tired, he couldn’t feel anything and he wished he could feel the blade on his throat again.

 

_ It hits my head and I feel numb _ __   
  


It was his fault. The thought hits hard and it can’t be shaken from his head. His brain seems to be unable to process anything around him.

 

_ My body's looking wrong _ __   
  


All Tezca was is a wisp of himself. Why was he alive? 

 

_ My body's looking wrong _ __   
  


Why the fuck was he alive? He wasn’t even a person anymore.

 

_ My body's looking wrong _

**Why the fuck did he have to be the one alive? Why couldn’t he be the one who’s dead? Why couldn’t he die? Why, why, why, that’s all his head could think of.**

 

_ Bye-bye baby blue _

 

'Justin…'

 

_ I wish you could see the wicked truth _

 

If only Justin could have seen the truth. If only Tezca could’ve told him.

 

_ Caught up in a rush it’s killing you _

 

‘You were swept away into the madness of the Kishin, Justin.’ Tezca wished he could’ve done something instead of talking to Justin’s ghost in his head.

 

_ Screaming at sun you blow into _

 

‘I’m so sorry for what I did.’ Tezca thought about what it must’ve looked like, Justin’s face after it had been marred by horrible burns. He felt sick. He deserved to be decapitated after what he had done to Justin. Maybe if he hadn’t done what he did, Justin would still be there. The thought made him want to vomit.

 

_ Curled up in a grip when we were us. _

 

‘I wish we could be ‘us’.'

 

_ Fingers in a fist like you might run _

 

‘I wish you’d never ran away from me. I wish you would’ve let me in.”

 

_ I settle for a ghost I never knew _

 

‘Now I only have your voice in my head.'

 

_ Super-paradise I held onto _

 

‘I didn’t want to let go of the idea that you and I were something. Maybe if I had realized that you heard nothing I said I would’ve been able to help you let me in.’

 

_ But I settle for a ghost _

 

‘All that remains is the ghost of ‘us’.”

 

In the mirror realm, alone, Tezca kneels, a sinner begging for repentance. Tears fall down his face, finally. The guilt hurts worse than torture. He hears Justin in front of him, words of forgiveness coming from his mouth. He’s going crazy with grief and that almost makes him want to laugh but he can only sob. He misses Justin, he loves Justin, he wishes he had died instead of Justin.

 

In the mirror realm, Tezca settles for a ghost. 


End file.
